This is goodbye

…no, I’m not quitting blogging. That would be kind of embarrassing, wouldn’t it? I barely lasted a few months, I’ve opened up to a ton of complete strangers, and then I take off? Nope, I love it (and all of you) way too much to just throw all of that away.

But I am saying goodbye to #freEDom. I can’t explain how it helped me, but it did. I’m in a better place mentally now ever since I started participating in the campaign a few months ago. Your comments have inspired me, motivated me, and taught me how to get out of that vicious cycle that is an eating disorder. While I’m not fully “recovered” from it, I’m closer to recovery than I am a relapse. I don’t consider myself disordered anymore. Sure, I have moments, but for the most part, I’m free from those days of my life.



Despite everything that #FreEDom has done for me, I don’t want it to hold me back, either. I started this blog as an outlet to detail my training, and while food and mental struggles are part of that training, I started to lose my focus.

What I do know is that track is starting again today and today I’m taking it back to the basics.

What to expect in the coming months:

  • race recaps
  • whining about speed workouts
  • toenails falling off
  • PRs (hopefully)
  • bad races (hopefully not)
  • race eats
  • track meets
  • whatever I want to talk about

So thanks everyone for bearing with me for the past few months as I’ve described in probably way too much detail what’s going on inside my mess of a head. I feel like I’m in a place where I’m ready to move on, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

How do you maintain the integrity of your blog?

About pickyrunner

I'm Sarah, a (mostly) health-crazed 20-year old New Englander living in Baltimore. Taste buds of a 4-year old, joints of a 90 year old, brain of a chemist, appetite of a teenage boy, legs of a runner. Mindset of a Champion. Follow @pickyrunner
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46 Responses to This is goodbye

  1. I’m so glad you are doing what’s best for you. I can’t wait to hear all about new prs you’ll be making this year…. And of course race day meals which in sure will all look drool worthy :-)

  2. Chelsie S says:

    The great thing about having a blog is the individuality that it allows for. And while some campaigns are different than others (freEDom or PMB vs. WIAW, for example), I really think that doing your own thing will help you develop … your own voice? … if that makes sense.
    We already had this conversation, so I’m not surprised by this post (obviously!), but what I am going to say is BOSTON BABY!!!!! :D Bring it on. You know we can. ;)

    • pickyrunner says:

      Ohhhhh yes! We’re going to run it. I told my mom my plan and she didn’t even roll her eyes this time! Wooooo it’s happening. Even if you leave me in the dust ;)

  3. I actually know a lot of my favorite bloggers that stopped blogging after a few months. They found that blogging helped them out of something and then decided they were done…which is fine. It’s not for everyone at all times in their life I guess.

    I actually don’t have a lot that I want to say in a publicly but this is a post I wanted to see you from you. I’m going to send you an email in a few.

  4. I’m excited for you! I’m happy that freEDom gave you what you needed, but that you feel you’re ready to move on. Looking forward to seeing where you go with your little piece of the internet!

  5. i think it is nice to hear you are going back to why you started blogging, that is what you deserve. heck I would never want to concentrate on my disorder 24/7, that just sucks. it is life that you want to embrace!

  6. You are so strong, girl! I can’t wait to hear about those toenails! ;)

  7. You should definitely blog about what you’re passionate about and what makes you the happiest – that’s the whole point! The minute you start blogging for others more than yourself is the minute you have to take a step back and reconsider what you’re doing… and it’s great that you were able to do that :) I used to blog a lot about my ED when I was going through recovery, but I find it a lot harder to talk about now because it seems like such a shadow of my distant past.

    • pickyrunner says:

      I agree! I started thinking back to my past with it but I don’t need to. I want to move forward. I want it to stay in my past and nothing more. Going forward, I’m a runner, and a healthy one at that. That’s enough for me!

  8. Kaitlin says:

    I want the race eats and tips and tricks for running fast :) pleeeaase. I have no clue were my blog goes. I try to refrain from anything negative because of who reads it and that actually helps me keep a positive focus. And we all know how much I love to explore and experiment.

    Happy Tuesday!

    “Keep Calm and Carry On”

    • pickyrunner says:

      Oh you’ll be sick of running pretty soon ;) but I’m going to try and start experimenting with food some more too, so maybe I’ll turn into a chef! Yeah right… but that’s actually kind of nice that you can keep yourself upbeat. Although sometimes it stinks that you can’t share what you’re thinking, but that’s what email is for I guess :)

  9. lifeasliv says:

    Can’t wait to see where you go with this LOVELY AWESOME blog! You can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be tuning in :)

  10. chasingchels says:

    Funnily enough I feel the same way right now which is why I didn’t link up either… i know, for me, it’ll come back up in my wtiting now and then ( since that helps keep me in recovery…talking/writing about it), but i started to notice that i was beginning to question whether i should post food, runs, and workouts on blog and the answer for me is undoubtedly yes since that’sa big part of my life! And i want to focus on that and the fun stuff more right now! I’m excited to ser where you will go :)

    • pickyrunner says:

      I thought you might be in the same boat after last week’s realization! Look at how far we’ve come and how amazing freEDom is. It did exactly what it was supposed to do and I can’t wait to see where I go with my newfound freedom.

  11. Abby says:

    Yay!! So happy for you, as you embark on a new little journey through the blogging world. It made me smile as you said that you were closer to recovery than relapse – what an AWESOME feeling!
    I like what you said to me earlier on my blog, “It’s your blog, you write about what you want” I feel like you’re remembering that for your blog, and I can’t wait to see what there is to come! I’ve loved following you the last month, and I’m excited to see how your track season ahead of you goes. Have a good day, Sarah!

    • pickyrunner says:

      Aww thanks girl! Your post reminded me of this one (I’ve had it finished for awhile, I just waited until today to post it) which is why I said it. I’m ready to go back to doing what I need to do for me. That’s pretty awesome :)

  12. Not gonna lie, when I saw the title of this post on Twitter this morning I had a minor freakout that you were calling it quits with the blog. Glad to see that’s not the case! I’m even more glad to see that you’re blogging what works for you. I’ve said it before to different bloggers and I’ll say it again to you: girl, this is your corner of the Internet, and you should use it however you darn well please. Blog what you want! Once that stops happening, I think blogging becomes a chore and a bore, and that totally defeats the purpose of blogging in the first place. Here’s to posts about what you want to talk about (and hopefully not too many lost toenails ;) )

    • pickyrunner says:

      Haha I won’t post about it too often but I have more lost toenails than I’m going to admit. It’s pretty gross! I realized after that people may just decide not even to read the post because they’d assume I was throwing in the towel. I’m glad you checked it out to be sure! I could never give up blogging. I love it so much. I feel like I’ve finally found a group of people I really fit in with.

  13. I think it is so important that a blog be reflective of where you want to go in your life! I think it is great you know where you want to focus. Sometimes I feel like focusing too much on the ED stuff can consume us in the same ways as the ED did initially. I am looking forward to what is coming from you on your blog!

    • pickyrunner says:

      Thanks girl! I definitely don’t want to get to the point where I’m obsessing over being “disordered” when I’m not. It’s time to move on and I’m more than ready to see where it takes me!

  14. I’m so excited to see where your blog takes you! I did the same thing not too long ago. I realized I had gotten off track and was focusing too much on food when I wanted to be blogging about running, training, and my non-food life. Good for you for realizing that you’ve grown and can move on. I can’t wait to read about your training!

    • pickyrunner says:

      That’s where I want to get back to too. I love talking about the foods I’m eating, but not in an unhealthy way. And running is what I’m passionate about so why not share that passion with the rest of the world?

  15. Caitlin says:

    Integrity of the blog = blogging your truth. whatever your truth may be at this moment. If it’s not recovery talk and is racing instead, then do it up! I’ll always love your blog!

  16. It’s so interesting to hear what people say about the integrity of a blog. I’ve certainly lost focus on my blog at some times. I’ll look back on a post and be SO CONFUSED as to why I wrote it. But at that time I suppose it was what I needed. I’m so excited to hear about your racing life coming up and I’m SO excited to hear your strong video up here. So proud. :)

    • pickyrunner says:

      Thanks girl! I think a lot of people have been in similar situations and that makes it slightly easier. While it did help talking about a lot of it, I’m ready to move on.

  17. Love this! And love that you’re in a place where you’re ready to move on and talk about whatever you want to talk about! I went through some mental struggles earlier in the fall, and shared a few thoughtful posts on the topic. But since it hasn’t been an issue for me at all lately, I haven’t talked about it because I’d rather talk about other fun stuff. So glad you’re doing better, and can’t wait to read more about your running adventures!

    • pickyrunner says:

      Thank you! I think that blogging helps so much but it is also really easy to get caught up in it certain topics so I’m trying hard to get out of that little period of my life. I’m ready to talk about running incessantly again :)

  18. Oh thank goodness. Now I can re-live my college running days through you ;)

  19. Good luck on your first day back with track! So much to look forward to :)

  20. Jen says:

    It is always important to do what is best for yourself :) Hope this year brings great PRs for you. Can’t wait to see where the blog leads.

  21. So stinking proud of you! I can’t wait to keep reading!

  22. I can’t wait to read about missing toenails, PRs, and whiny runs. You have to do what’s right for you and it’s going to be fabulous! I think it’s awesome that you’ve made such progress with ‘you’. You totally have a supportive online community who can’t wait to support your future endeavors; just make sure to use us if you ever feel like you’re losing control. :)

    • pickyrunner says:

      Thanks girl! I’ll definitely still be detailing my struggles but I don’t want them to be a focus anymore. I’ll be sure to share lots of details about those missing toenails ;)

  23. You’re so strong and have made such improvements in the short time that I’ve been reading. Can’t wait to see you continue to grow and improve. And obviously I can’t wait to read more about your SPEEDY running. I have a lot of speedwork on the books myself this spring as I work for a 13.1 PR. Let’s do it :)

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